


Epiales

by Amsterdam_Berserk



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sexual Tension, Violence, just tension in general really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:00:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27582407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amsterdam_Berserk/pseuds/Amsterdam_Berserk
Summary: That feeling of unease had only grown larger, eating away at him, tearing him up from inside. Something waswrongwith him, something that he couldn't just ignore away. It was slowly devouring him.He had started feeling this way months ago, when he first heard Khada Jhin had escaped -- no, had beenreleased.
Relationships: Khada Jhin/Zed
Comments: 62
Kudos: 124





	1. Chapter 1

Two men stood at the training grounds, watching each other patiently. A somewhat cocky smile could be read on the younger man's face, while his master's remained expressionless.

Zed took a step forward, giving a quick, respectful bow to his pupil. He waited for Kayn to return the gesture, sharing one final look to make sure they were both ready. Then, he moved.

Kayn would attack first, always. Zed knew his pupil's fighting style as if it were his own. He had trained him himself, after all.

He dodged the first strike with ease, though Kayn gave him no chance to counter with a hit of his own. Kayn's strikes were rapid and aggressive, leaving his opponent with little time to react. It was a style that suited him perfectly -- fierce, relentless. Kayn was a Noxian through and through when he fought, each strike made with the intent to dominate, to overwhelm his opponent before they had the chance to fight back.

Zed's training had been very different from this. The Kinkou Order's teachings had been about balance and discipline, to wait patiently for the right moment to strike. Zed would always show this in his own fighting, even after having left the order.

He dodged another charge, turning quickly along with his pupil. They faced each other again, the younger of the two preparing another attack.

Zed stood still, waiting just a moment for the other to get closer. Then, instead of dodging once more, he struck the man's side, throwing him off balance and making him tumble to the ground.

The young assassin quickly recovered, grin still on his face as he got up to attack again. Zed knew he would keep going until he was completely exhausted, and not a moment sooner. It reminded him somewhat of his younger self, when he got taken in by the order. His old master Kusho had made him fight Shen again and again, but not once had he truly defeated him, not even after all these years.

It left a slightly bitter taste in his mouth.

From the corner of his eye, Zed saw the man darting in his direction, preparing to lunge at him. Zed moved accordingly, positioning himself so he was facing him. The countless training sessions he had done with Shen under the watchful eye of his old master came to mind again.

He would never match his strength, but that didn't mean he didn't have options.

Dodge, block, use his strength against him.

He was four spans away. He would strike from the right, leaving his defence on the other side wide open. That's when Zed would retaliate, again and again. He had to be stronger. He had to prove himself.

Deep breaths, concentrate. Bring him down.

He was closing in. He was about to strike--

It wasn't until pain struck his back and he fell to the ground that he realised his mistake.

Kayn wasn't Shen.

He had phased right through him before striking him from behind, catching him off guard. It was a simple technique that Zed had, not to mention, taught Kayn himself.

Zed laid there, on the ground, much longer than he should have.

"Uh... Master Zed, are you alright?"

A hand reached out to him. Kayn's hand. He blinked, then grabbed onto it, pulling himself up.

"It's fine, I'm just tired." It wasn't a lie, he'd been having trouble sleeping for weeks. "Let's stop for today."

"Sure thing, but that's a win for me." Kayn grinned, clearly trying to lighten the mood a little. Zed gave a slight smile back, nodding in response. Kayn must have noticed something had been bothering him, something that he couldn't quite put his finger on.

Throughout the day, it had kept nagging at the back of his mind. A feeling of unease that never really seemed to leave, causing him to lose his focus while doing his duties around the old monastery. Time passed by quickly without him really accomplishing anything, much to his own frustration.

That night, Zed found himself wandering around the place, trying to clear his mind. He had been trying to fall asleep for the past few hours now, without any success.

He eventually found himself outside, back at the now vacant training grounds. The air was chilly, but not quite cold enough yet to make him shiver. The slight breeze brushing against his skin felt calming, in a way.

His thoughts wandered back to this morning, when he had completely lost his focus while training.

That feeling of unease had only grown larger, eating away at him, tearing him up from inside. Something was _wrong_ with him, something that he couldn't just ignore away. It was slowly devouring him.

He had started feeling this way months ago, when he first heard Khada Jhin had escaped -- no, had been _released_.

Kusho was the one behind it, all for his own political gain. He was dead now, his blood spilled by Zed himself, but it still infuriated him. It terrified him. Kusho was gone but the Shadow Council remained, now sworn enemies of his order. They wanted Zed gone, that much was certain.

Then there was Shen. The next time they met, Shen would kill him. He had made that clear. Zed knew he deserved it for all he had done to him. To his father. Zed knew he wouldn't be able to stop him if he came for his head. Shen had always been the stronger of the two.

The only reason he was able to recapture Jhin was because Shen was by his side. He knew this wouldn't be the case next time.

Who was to say that they wouldn't try the same thing? The council surely knew about the Golden Demon's obsession with Zed. It wasn't too hard to realise their former leader's son wanted him dead too, after killing his father.

Jhin would go after Zed and kill him, if Shen didn't get to him first. Zed didn't know which would be worse.

Shen had already captured him once before. He had restrained him and put up wards to block his magic, with no way out for Zed.

He wanted to use him as _bait_. He was going to let him die when Jhin showed. It wasn't hard to imagine what he would've done to Zed. He could almost _see_ his own lifeless body, mutilated in the most gruesome ways. He felt nauseous just thinking about it.

The worst part was that Zed knew they wouldn't just stop at his death. The rest of the order, Kayn... The council would want all of them gone. He couldn't let something like that happen. He was the one responsible for this situation in the first place.

The worst thing they could do is to release Jhin once again. He would get rid of Zed while also spreading fear through Ionia. That was what the council needed to gain power.

But what if he was already out?

His face lit up at the thought of it. The council couldn't act out this way if Zed had control over the Golden Demon. To keep him nearby, in one of their own monasteries.

He assumed neither Shen nor the members of the Shadow Council would be foolish enough to attack Zed at his own base, filled to the brim with highly skilled fighters and assassins. It would practically be suicide. This was the perfect place to keep Jhin.

Zed sighed, millions of thoughts racing through his mind. Could he really keep him here? Wouldn't he be doing the same thing Kusho did, needlessly putting everyone in danger?

No, his acolytes would be perfectly capable of keeping him locked away. If Zed was being honest, he would much rather just kill him. Jhin had taken so many lives, his horrific murders scarring hundreds of people for the rest of their lives. But he knew he couldn't do it. Zed had sworn this to Shen. Maybe he naively believed keeping that promise was his last chance at redemption. That he could one day, after many more years, look Shen in the eyes again.

He shook his head. No point thinking about that now. He had made his plans. Tomorrow he would leave for the prison where Khada Jhin was held, and bring him back with him.

Zed took a deep breath, looking up at the night sky. Pale stars were dotted all over, shining their light down on him. He shivered, the cold air hugging him tightly now. He had cleared his mind well enough, perhaps he could get a few hours of sleep before preparing for tomorrow's plans.

Holding back a yawn, he started making his way back inside, making sure not to wake anyone else up. Once back in his room, he tossed his shirt on a nearby chair, crawling back under his covers.

It was going to be a long day tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

Sunrise came far too quickly for Zed's liking. The cheerful chirping of the birds outside woke him up in about the most peaceful way it could've happened.

He groaned, stretching his arms above him before rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He then sat up, stretching the rest of his upper body. He felt a bruise forming on his back where he had been hit yesterday. A really annoying place.

Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he was feeling the urge to just stay in bed today. He could certainly use the extra hours of sleep. He knew he shouldn't, how tempting it might seem. Zed had made his mind up yesterday and he had to go through with it. Still, he couldn't ignore the slight unease starting to grow in the pit of his stomach.

The feeling was nothing new to Zed, but he couldn't quite place it this time. Why now, when he had chased after the Golden Demon several times before?

He shrugged it off, it wasn't that strange for him to feel nervous about this. Anyone in his position would.

Zed quickly got up, away from his warm and tempting bed. He would soon sleep better than he could now anyway. He decided to give himself a quick wash, enjoying the brief moment of hot water and soap running over his skin. It certainly helped him wake up.

After getting dressed he made his way to the kitchen, greeting a few acolytes along the way. It was fairly quiet, most were likely still asleep.

He started packing some supplies for later. He would have to bring enough for a couple days and a couple men-- he knew Jhin was imprisoned near the small town of Weh'le. A hidden town, rarely shown on maps. It was hard to find for anyone who didn't know where to look. There was a prison close to the town, one that was not easy to find either. Zed, however, knew exactly how to get there.

"Morning," he suddenly heard someone speak, breaking him out of his inner thoughts. It was Kayn. His usually braided hair was instead tied back in a messy bun. He looked at Zed, nonchalant as ever. "Are you going to feed an orphanage or something?" he said, gesturing at the supplies.

"I'm leaving for a couple of days, for something important," Zed answered him, continuing to pack.

"Take me with you!" he exclaimed, suddenly a lot more energy in his voice.

"No, I need you to guard the temple while I'm gone." He watched his expression change, now showing a hint of annoyance.

" _Fine,_ " he sighed. "Anything in particular I need to watch for?"

"Nothing new, but be on your guard. We have a lot of enemies now."

"Yeah, yeah. Trust me, I know. No one can get through me," Kayn answered, his usual grin showing now. Zed nodded in return.

He quickly finished packing up, then ate together with Kayn and some others. He started thinking about who he would bring along later, if not Kayn. One of his pupils named Lura came to mind. The order had many skilled fighters, but few were as eloquent as her. Zed prefered to go through with this journey without fighting, if he could. Having someone like Lura could help in settling things diplomatically.

Zed would also bring Yusari with him. He was a vastaya who joined the order many years ago and had become one of Zed's most trusted acolytes. A fearsome assassin, able to take out countless enemies in the blink of an eye.

The two couldn't be any more different from each other, but they each complimented the other's skills nicely. Zed had gathered them and informed them about their mission. Lura seemed excited to help out, eagerly coming along. Yusari simply nodded, which was enough for Zed.

The three of them left that same morning, travelling on foot for the time being. The town of Weh'le was about two days worth of travel away. They'd spend the night at an inn in a town along the way.

The trip was easy enough, Lura's upbeat chatter keeping them occupied as they went on. It surprised Zed a little that Yusari and Lura seemed to get along really well. Yusari barely spoke a word throughout the trip, but all Lura seemed to need was a listening ear. Yusari in turn seemed to appreciate having someone do the talking for him. The lightened mood distracted Zed from his growing feeling of anxiety, for a little bit at least.

That distraction was near enough gone once they reached the Weh'le prison, however.

It was a rather small building, one that likely didn't house very many prisoners. Shen had likely chosen this location because it was hidden well enough. Out of sight, out of mind.

If only things worked that way.

"I'll be going in alone," Zed spoke. "If there's a way you two could find a carriage or such, that would make travelling back with a prisoner a lot easier."

Lura's eyes lit up. "Of course! We'll find something in no-time, right Yu?" Yusari silently nodded.

"Thank you," he responded. He watched them go off, likely to the town. Zed instead walked forward. This was it.

He had barely taken a step inside the building when he was stopped by what seemed to be a guard.

"Halt, what business do you have here?" he spoke. His voice was deep, matching his rather tough appearance.

"I'm here to see warden Arne," he answered calmly.

"This isn't a pub, wait until he's done for the day," the guard snarled back.

"He knows who I am. It's important, please bring me to him." The guard just looked back at him, growing more irritated by the second. "Or I will go find him myself," he added.

They simply stared at each other for another few seconds before the guard sighed, guiding him along to a different room.

Inside of it stood warden Arne, a short but sturdy man with curly black hair. Zed had met him a few times before. Back when he was still with Kinkou, and later, when his order had ran into him again.

Shock painted the warden's face as he saw Zed, his calm demeanour immediately replaced with something far more nervous.

"Zed! W-what brings you here?" he stammered, looking away from Zed as he spoke.

Zed paused a moment before he spoke. "I'm here for a prisoner. Khada Jhin. I'll be taking him with me."

Arne's eyes widened, somehow making him appear even more on edge. "T-take him? You can't do that!"

Zed took a step forward, immediately making Arne back away. "I can and I will. Or did you forget what my men are capable of?" Arne quickly shook his head. "Take me to him."

Arne nodded rashly, leading Zed out of the room. He guided him along through many locked doors and hallways. That feeling of unease grew with every step he took. Was he really going through with this? Willingly taking this monster with him? He could still turn back, leave this place forever.

He could barely keep his breath steady as they went on, and on. The halls almost seemed endless. How many doors did they pass already?

Finally, Arne stopped. The door in front of them was a large one, made entirely out of metal.

Zed felt nauseous. A certain sense of dread was rapidly spreading through his veins. It made his entire body feel heavy.

His heart raced as Arne brought his keys to the locked door.

This was it. There was no going back now.

"Are you ready?" Arne spoke. Could he ever be ready for this? To stand face to face with _him_ , could anyone be ready for that?

He nodded, perhaps a bit weakly. It was as good a signal as any to Arne though. He opened the door, allowing Zed to enter.

He slowly stepped forward, making his way inside. Once he was inside, Arne closed the door behind him again, but kept it unlocked.

The cell was cold and grey, lit up by just one light hanging from the ceiling. It was small. Nearly enough to make Zed feel claustrophobic in his current state. He swallowed, his eyes tracing over the room.

And there he was, sitting on his bed across the room. It was hard _not_ to look at him, even if Zed admittedly did try to stall it for as long as possible. Something just immediately drew his gaze towards him.

Piercing red eyes met his own, a gaze cold but familiar, enough to send a shiver down his spine. Messy brown hair framed the sides of his face, his hair slightly longer than Zed's own, likely hadn't been trimmed in a while.

His thin lips formed a warm smile on his face, as if he was seeing an old friend -- a stark contrast to the cold look in his eyes.

The way he sat there, a completely normal man looking back at Zed, his appearance entirely at odds with the sadistic monster he knew so well.

Zed didn't know how long he had been staring at him from across the room, when the silence was finally broken by an all too familiar voice. If there was any room for doubt left in whom he was facing, it was all gone the moment he heard his name spoken by the man in front of him.

"Zed."

That eerily melodic voice bit into his skin. It filled the room with tension, immediately putting Zed on edge.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Jhin continued, clearly amused by the way his sudden guest had been acting.

Every cell in Zed's body was telling him to turn around and leave, to never have to look at him again, but he knew that would do nothing to actually put his worries to rest.

"I'm taking you with me," he answered, trying his hardest to keep his voice calm. Emotionless.

He saw something light up in Jhin's face as he spoke, perhaps excitement at the prospect of leaving this cramped jail cell?

"Oh?" Jhin chuckled, "I wasn't aware you were so attached to me."

A taunt. Everything about him showed he knew exactly how much of a grip he had on Zed, ever since he started investigating the Golden Demon. He had seen him frightened, tormented and torn apart by the mere sight of the artist's craft. Zed stopped having nightmares years ago, but the images still haunted him to this day.

He didn't respond, but even now he knew that Jhin had figured out immediately what to say to get the reaction he wanted out of Zed.

The brief silence that followed was anything but comfortable, Jhin's stare practically piercing through him.

"I thought you wanted to kill me," Jhin then hummed, his voice low.

He did. He would love nothing more than to be done with Jhin forever, but he _couldn't_. That was the promise he made to Shen, one that he would never consider breaking.

He saw him stand up, taking just a small step towards Zed. He had never really noticed it before but Jhin was actually fairly tall, the man easily towering over him. He took another step.

Zed felt the urge to back away from him, to make space between him and the killer, but he refused to give him that. Jhin couldn't do anything to him here like this. He wasn't afraid.

He took one final step closer, now only a few palms between them. He brought his hand to Zed's face, gently grabbing his chin. Zed let him. Jhin tilted his head up slightly, cold eyes staring into his own once again.

Adrenaline was rushing through Zed's veins, his heart beating rapidly. _Too close._

"You would love that, wouldn't you? To kill me," Jhin said, his voice barely above a whisper now.

He felt himself starting to tremble, his calm and controlled demeanour making way for clear unease and anger.

The hand on his chin grabbed him tightly now, Zed's heart pounding in his chest. He felt his fingers brushing over his throat, pressing down ever so slightly and--

Before Zed even realised it he felt his fist plunge into the man's stomach. Jhin winced immediately, reeling back with a satisfying grunt. He stumbled back against the stone wall, holding his stomach in pain.

Before he could give Jhin a chance to recover, Zed lifted him up again by his throat, pinning him against the wall.

Jhin looked back at him, but his face didn't show any fear or even anger. The man _smiled_ at him, as if he was somehow enjoying the way Zed had reacted.

The moment their eyes met again was the moment Zed's fist hit his face. He let him fall to the floor, watching him writhe in pain for a moment. It'd be a lie if he said it didn't feel good to do that.

He just barely managed stop himself from doing it again, looking down at the man on the floor. It didn't look like he was eager to fight back.

Zed turned around instead, making his way out of the cell. Outside of it he was met by that same guard from earlier looking back at him, seeming just slightly less irritated than before.

"Restrain him and bring him outside. We're leaving," Zed ordered him, the guard mumbling a 'yes sir' in response as he went inside.

Zed didn't stick around for him to bring Jhin out. With the adrenaline still surging through his body, he was slightly worried seeing him now would provoke Zed to strike him again. Though based on the guard's lack of reaction earlier, this clearly wasn't first time a prisoner got beat up.

He needed to get some fresh air, the tension from inside that cell still pressing down on him forcefully. He walked the same way back, giving the still nervous Arne a reassuring look as he passed him.

Once he was outside, Zed finally felt like he could breathe properly again. His companions were back now, waiting patiently. Yusari was quietly inspecting his sickles, leaning against a wagon they had acquired somehow. Lura stood next to him, smiling at Zed as he approached the pair.

"A gentleman from a nearby farm was more than willing to trade this ride for some gold and a kiss," Lura laughed. How they managed to get both the wagon and a horse along with it for the amount of gold they carried baffled Zed.

She must have noticed him being on edge, as her warm smile quickly turned to a serious expression. "Are you alright?" she asked softly.

"Yes." Was he? "They're bringing him here now, let's prepare to leave."

Lura nodded, Yusari gave an approving 'hmph' in response.

As if on cue, the doors opened yet again. Two men walked out -- Jhin with his hands cuffed behind him, and the guard from earlier, holding a tight grip on his arm.

He looked at Zed as he was moved along, an expression on his face he couldn't really decipher. Zed didn't look away.

The guard placed him inside the wagon, gave a quick nod to Zed, then turned around and left again.

Yusari and Lura got inside with him. Zed wasn't worried that something could happen. Both of them were trained assassins, highly skilled in what they could do. Jhin was just a man with no weapons on him.

The vehicle was completely closed off, safe for the open back with railing. It was likely used to transport the farmer's produce around the area. Zed sat at the front of it, taking the reins, guiding the horse to start moving.

During the trip, Lura took it upon herself to make conversation with their captive. The topics ranged from theatre to what kind of tea they liked. If Zed hadn't known any better he might have thought they were just two old friends, making small talk. But he knew Lura well enough to know this was just her way of handling a threat, to make them feel comfortable with her so they'd drop their guard. He somehow doubted that Jhin would fall for it, but he seemed eager enough to indulge regardless.

Zed and Yusari both didn't say a word, simply driving on as the hours passed, a thin wooden wall being the only thing now that separated Zed and the Golden Demon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think and what you might like to see! ♡


	3. Chapter 3

A distinct metallic _clang_ echoed through the room as Zed closed the door behind him, leading himself and the man in front of him down a set of stairs. These stairs led to the dungeons below the monastery. They were rarely used, if ever, but they would prove to be a good place to keep the Golden Demon captive.

Jhin had gone along peacefully, not making any attempt to break free and escape. Zed figured he knew it would be suicide to try anything here, with all his acolytes merely a floor above them.

Once they were down, Zed led the man towards one of the few 'cells' that had been built here long ago, even before his order had taken over this monastery. It was uncharacteristic for Kinkou to keep prisoners at all, to say the least, but knowing Kusho's ulterior motives now, Zed wasn't really surprised anymore.

The room itself was lit by a few lanterns placed on the walls. It gave the place a somewhat warm glow, something that felt a little out of place in a dungeon like this. There was a single bed in the room, and attached to one wall was a short chain connecting to a pair of wrist restraints. Besides those items, the room was empty.

"How quaint," his captive chuckled, prompting Zed to shove him into the room, irritated.

The sudden push made Jhin lose his balance, making him stumble onto the floor, unable to break his own fall with his hands still cuffed behind him. He groaned, lying on his stomach until Zed moved him up again. He removed his handcuffs now, giving the man just a second to stretch his arms.

He then pushed Jhin towards the wall, turning him around to face him. Their eyes met for a moment as Zed grabbed hold of the man's wrists, lifting them up without much resistance from Jhin's part. He then _clicked_ the cuffs around them, restraining them above his head.

"Afraid I might attack you?" he taunted, his lips forming a smile on his face.

Zed's eyes narrowed. He was about to say something back, then decided against it.

Instead, he took a look at the man in front of him. The way he stood there, just a tired, worn-out man staring back at him. He looked so frail like this, yet no less intimidating than what Zed had always seen him as.

Zed's gaze lowered to the man's shirt, a plain, ragged piece of fabric covering his torso. Likely something all other prisoners wore as well. He noticed something strange about it, though. It showed stains he hadn't seen earlier. He took a step closer, his eyes now drawn to the small pools of red that had started forming on Jhin's shirt.

"You're bleeding?" Zed questioned. He hadn't hit the floor _that_ hard, had he?

"Ah, so I am," he said, rather nonchalantly, as he looked down at his own chest.

Zed grabbed the knife he carried on his belt, bringing it up to the collar of the man's shirt. Jhin looked at it intently, something sparking up in his eyes. Zed then tore through the fabric, all the way to the bottom. He cut through the sleeves as well, allowing the fabric to fall off Jhin's body.

His upper body was in pretty poor shape. He was covered in cuts and bruises -- older, deeper cuts that seemed to be healing poorly, along with more recent ones that had likely just reopened. Among the cuts were a handful of fresh bruises, a particularly painful-looking one spread over his ribs. It was clear from the looks of them that these were all deliberate wounds. They were meant to hurt.

Their gazes met again, a slight smile now showing on Jhin's face. "Are you surprised?"

Admittedly, it had caught him off guard. He knew the prisoners weren't exactly treated well, but he hadn't expected them to be abused to this extent. He understood now why his punch much earlier had hurt him that badly, he was already bruised up this much.

"You deserve worse," Zed snapped at him.

"Mmm."

It was silent for a moment, neither of them looking away from each other for even a second. The longer he looked at him there, the more agitated Zed felt. How much he wanted to punch that smile off his face again.

Still, he couldn't leave those wounds to get infected. He held back a sigh as he turned around, leaving Jhin behind a locked door as he went on to gather bandages and the like.

It wasn't far to the infirmary where he easily grabbed a couple of things to clean his captive's wounds with. Once he had gathered what he needed, Zed started slowly making his way back.

As he walked back he saw a few of his pupils giving instructions to younger students, outside at the training grounds. It was starting to get dark already, but his students worked tirelessly as ever. Zed normally liked to be there as well, lending a hand where needed.

He looked at them for a moment, going over in his head how he'd demonstrate the techniques differently. It was tempting to just go out and go about his normal day, to help out his pupils with training like he often would. He could easily leave Jhin there, alone in just another cold, dark cell. Like he had said earlier, he deserved it.

He stared ahead of him for a bit longer before shaking his head. There was that nagging feeling at the back of his mind again, pulling him right back to Jhin. He knew he couldn't ignore it. He had tried that enough.

Zed sighed, loudly now. He took one last look outside, then started walking again, making his way back to the dungeons.

Once there, he was greeted by that same amused expression on Jhin's face, his eyes lighting up as they met Zed's own again.

He couldn't really place it but the room felt _different_ somehow. As if Jhin's presence alone made him own it. He felt that same pressure weighing down on him again, the kind he had felt back at the Weh'le prison.

His body felt heavier somehow, with every step he took towards the restrained man. He tried his best to keep his breathing steady as he stopped in front of him, that awful feeling back in the pit of his stomach. Jhin couldn't do anything to him like this, so why was he feeling this anxious?

Both of them stayed silent for a while, simply staring at each other. He couldn't just stay there like this. The sooner he was done here, the sooner he could leave again.

Having calmed himself slightly, Zed then took the time to pour some alcohol on a cloth. He brought it to Jhin's chest, starting to clean up the bleeding cuts. Jhin hissed as the substance made contact with his skin, involuntarily squirming away from the feeling.

"Keep still," Zed spoke, promptly pushing Jhin back against the wall with his other hand. He kept him there, hand on his chest to keep him somewhat pinned.

It earned him a strange look from Jhin, piercing red eyes staring right into his own. Far too close for his liking. The intensity of his gaze made him look away almost immediately, trying to get his focus back on the wounds he was cleaning.

He heard Jhin hum softly at his reaction, to Zed's own annoyance. He hated how on edge he felt simply being _near_ him.

He tried to ignore it, cleaning up another cut instead, covering it up with bandages after he was finished. Jhin thankfully stayed silent throughout the rest of it. He could feel the man's heartbeat with his hand -- calm. Steady. Much unlike his own.

By now his captive _had_ to be aware of how nervous he really was. There was no way it wasn't blatantly obvious to him. Zed knew Jhin had been carefully provoking him, just to get under his skin. He knew he enjoyed seeing him like this, which frustrated him even more.

Zed still refused to look back at him. He had already given him the reaction he wanted, no need to dig himself in further.

With the last cut on his chest cleaned and covered up, he stepped back slightly, motioning Jhin to move. "Turn around."

He complied, albeit with a small sigh. His back didn't look as bad as the rest of his upper body, mostly older bruises covering his skin, nothing he really needed to patch up.

He hadn't really been able to take a good look at him before, but the man was surprisingly lean. He had been imprisoned for a while, likely without getting too many healthy meals, if Zed had to guess from how he had been treated otherwise. Some muscle remained, though, particularly in his arms and shoulders.

"Are you quite done staring?" he heard Jhin call out after a while, surprising him slightly. He took another step backwards, muttering a 'hmph' at the man as he did.

Zed wanted to get out of this room badly, quickly gathering the stuff he brought together. Jhin had turned back now, seeming to watch him carefully. He didn't bother looking back at him again as he made his way out, simply locking the man behind the sturdy doors as he left.

He exhaled once he was out, feeling that nauseating pressure slowly fade away again. He then took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down fully. The man then started walking, dropping off what he was holding at the infirmary again, before heading outside towards the training grounds. He definitely needed to blow off some steam.

Later that night, Zed found himself wide awake again, lying uncomfortably in his bed. He had hoped that once they had secured Khada Jhin's location here, at the monastery, that he would be able to sleep soundly again. But how could he possibly rest with that monster lurking in the dungeons right below him?

Had he made a mistake? Would it have been better to leave him alone, to let him rot in that prison so that Zed would never have to think about him again?

Zed sighed, quickly deciding it would be infinitely worse if Jhin was left out of his control. He couldn't allow even the slightest chance that someone might release him again. He knew that if that happened, the Golden Demon would go straight for his head, and with Shen's aid out of the question, he would get it too.

He didn't know why Jhin had such an obsession for him, he had never really understood it. Even now, _especially_ now that he had captured him, Jhin had seemed extremely intent on messing with him.

He sighed again. There was no way he was going to fall asleep if he kept mulling things over. Jhin was here now, and Zed would have to deal with him however he could. He had given Yusari and Lura the task to look after him, something that had greatly annoyed Kayn.

This was made clear the next morning, when the two of them were once again eating together, along with whoever else was up this early. Kayn had been glaring at Zed in a not very subtle way as they ate in silence, not a trace left of his usual upbeat demeanour. He had never been great at hiding his emotions, Zed had noted.

The young assassin finished his meal quickly, getting up and practically storming off after. It raised a few eyebrows from the other acolytes around the room, creating a strange atmosphere. Zed sighed, looking down at his own half-eaten meal. He was tempted to just leave his pupil be -- he really wasn't feeling a confrontation like that with the little amount of sleep he had gotten. As tempting as it was, though, he didn't want Kayn to feel needlessly agitated about this. He got up as well, making his way over to the one place he could think his pupil stormed off to.

As expected, Zed found him at the training grounds, punching his frustrations out on a dummy.

"Kayn," Zed started, trying to get the man's attention. Kayn didn't respond, continuing to strike at the dummy. " _Kayn!_ "

"Can't you see I'm busy?" the assassin spoke, not trying very hard to keep the anger out of his voice. "Clearly I still need to prove myself worthy to you for even the smallest tasks."

"Watching over Khada Jhin is anything _but_ a small task. You know what he is capable of."

"Yes, and you think I'm too young, too reckless, too inexperienced, too _weak_ to handle anything more than looking after the place for a day or two when you're gone," Kayn spat out.

Zed sighed, taking a step closer to the man. "That's not at all the reason why I didn't give you this task. You are by far my best student, you know this."

Kayn finally turned around, a slightly agitated frown still present on his face. At least he seemed to listen now.

"Jhin knows how important you are to the order. How important you are to _me_ ," Zed continued, taking another step closer to him. "He would try to get inside your head, to tear you apart just to get to me. He would _break_ you."

"I can handle him just fine!" Kayn nearly growled back at him.

"No you _can't_."

Kayn groaned, annoyed, clearly not willing to let the topic go like that. He took a step away from Zed, turning his back to him again.

"The last thing I want is for him to harm you. You understand that, right?" Zed's voice was lower now, somewhat soft even. He understood Kayn's frustrations very well, having been in this situation himself, and that was exactly why he couldn't let him do this.

"Hmph."

He walked up to Kayn again, standing only a few steps behind him now. "You will not go near him."

"Yeah, _yeah_. Understood and all that." Zed could almost hear him roll his eyes with that sentence. He left it at that, though. He trusted Kayn wouldn't disobey his orders.

It stayed silent for a moment, somewhat uncomfortably so. The air between them felt cleared, at least. That was all Zed had hoped for.

He took a final step closer to his pupil, extending an arm to rest his hand on Kayn's shoulder. "Let's spar."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might have overdone it a bit this chapter, 4000 words all in this one. Way more than I usually fit into one chapter. Hope you'll all enjoy it at least!
> 
> Let me know what you think :)

A loud noise crashed through Zed's bedroom, harshly waking him up. Zed's eyes immediately darted around the room, looking for the source of it. A broken window, glass on the floor.

In the middle of his room stood a figure, the silhouette of a man. Zed's eyes widened as he stared at him, a face he would recognise anywhere.

Before Zed could even react, the man dashed towards him, pinning him down on his bed. Two bright eyes stared into his own, nothing but pure rage to be seen in them. Shen.

Zed was shocked, trying his hardest to get away from him, but he couldn't move like this.

He saw the dagger in his hand, moonlight shining off of it. "Stop!" he yelled out as he saw the blade come closer towards him.

Shen did not listen. He didn't even react. He simply stared at Zed's face, the dagger held up now. Then, he brought it down with force, piercing through Zed's flesh.

He cried out, blood starting to flow out of his chest. Shen then stabbed again. And again. Zed couldn't do anything but _watch_ as the blood pooled around his body.

He felt something pull at his body, shaking him back and forth. Someone was calling his name. Shen..?

Everything went hazy, Zed's head spinning. He closed his eyes, trying to make out the noises.

Suddenly, his eyes shot open again. It was a lot brighter in his room now, sunlight flowing into his pupils. Shen was gone. The blood was gone. The dagger was gone.

"Master Zed!" he heard someone next to him call out. He looked to the side, seeing Lura's face before him. "You're awake," she said with a slight smile.

Zed's mind was still cloudy, the adrenaline from his dream still in his body. It had been so long since he last had a nightmare like this.

"Is there something wrong?" he asked, his voice still rough, sleepy.

"Yes, actually!" she answered, revealing the paper note she was holding. "One of the scouts just brought back this message, says he was knocked out and woke up with this tied to his arm."

Zed raised an eyebrow. Someone was attacked just to deliver message?

He rubbed his eyes for a moment, getting used to the light in the room. He then read the note Lura handed him.

_Return Khada Jhin within four days_

Zed stared at it for a moment, concerned. How was his move found out so quickly? There was definitely a threat implied in this message, for if he failed to comply.

He scratched his head for a moment, thinking it over. Four days, that was just enough time to travel back and forth to the prison by foot. The person who sent this note definitely knew Zed was keeping Jhin here. But how?

He looked at Lura, who looked just as concerned as he was. One thing was certain, Zed wasn't about to hand his prisoner over. He shook his head, sighing. "Ask Kayn to find out who sent this message." It would be good to give him something important to do anyway, he had been itching for it.

Lura nodded, taking the note back from Zed. She gave him a slight smile as she left the room again, closing the door behind her.

The words floated through his head. Return Khada Jhin. He scoffed, not a chance he was going to do that. The sender of that message likely knew this. They _counted_ on it. This message wasn't a simple offer, it was a warning. They would be here in four days, whether he was prepared or not.

The sender needed the message to reach Zed directly, they knew he would read between the lines. How could he not? He knew his brother's handwriting as if it were his own.

His thoughts went back to the nightmare he woke up from just minutes earlier. Was it a premonition? Zed shook his head, he never believed in things like that. Still, stranger things had happened.

He hadn't had a nightmare in years, and this was the first time Shen was the subject of it. He felt a cold chill run over his spine as he saw the image of his own blood spilling out of his body again.

They were brothers a long time ago, raised and taught alongside each other after Kusho had taken him into the order. He still saw him as that, but he knew that Shen couldn't ever call him his brother again.

Was he really prepared to face him?

Zed sighed, again, getting out of bed. As he got dressed, he felt the urge to go down to the dungeons again, where Jhin was kept. He hadn't been there in a few days, leaving Lura and Yusari to take care of him otherwise. So far it had seemed to work out fine.

He didn't really know what it was, but something inside him just wanted to go down there again. He knew that if he tried to ignore it, it would only leave him restless again.

Zed had decided now. He would go down to the dungeons after his meal. Then, he would prepare for his inevitable encounter with Shen.

Kayn seemed to already have left when Zed came to the dining hall. He hoped that Kayn would at least be satisfied with this mission, even if he already knew the answer. He hated lying to him, or anyone, but he had some things to work out for himself now.

He quickly ate his meal before making his way to the dungeons, a strange nervousness starting to grow inside him again. He was used to the feeling by now, but it still often caught him by surprise. Especially when he couldn't really place it.

Once in front of the room Jhin was in, he reached for his keys, swiftly unlocking the door. He took a deep breath before he opened it, trying to calm his nerves. Then, he stepped inside.

He saw the man lying on his bed, his head turning in his direction as he walked on. Red eyes met his own. "I thought you had abandoned me," the man spoke, sounding somewhat excited to see him.

Jhin moved, getting up, now standing in front of his bed. He had gotten some new clothes to wear -- a simple black top and some trousers many in the order wore as well. Looking closely, Zed noticed he had ripped a small strip of fabric off one of his sleeves, now using it to tie his dark brown hair back. He looked at Zed with a sly smile on his face, watching him carefully.

Zed didn't speak, simply walking towards the man instead. He didn't exactly come down here for small talk.

He stopped just a few steps away from Jhin, now looking straight at him. "Lift it up," he then said, gesturing at his shirt.

"How forward of you," Jhin chuckled. He complied, though, after receiving a glare from Zed. He pulled it up with one hand, the other resting next to him.

Zed took a small step towards him, taking a closer look at the man's torso. He noticed the bandages had been changed recently, likely earlier today. The bruises covering his skin seemed to be healing as well, though he still looked pretty rough.

He moved a little closer, reaching his hand out to press lightly against the man's bruised ribs. He wasn't really sure why he did it, perhaps just to see his reaction.

Jhin flinched slightly, looking down at the man in front of him with a strange expression on his face. He then hummed at him lowly, patiently awaiting his next move. It put Zed on edge, feeling himself getting tense. He was fully aware of how vulnerable he was making himself, being so close to the Golden Demon. He could lunge at him at any moment, knocking him to the floor to strike at him. Zed was stronger than him, he was certain of that, but would he beat him in a fight?

He pulled his hand back, prompting the man in front of him to lower his shirt again. They stood there in silence for a moment, both men trying to read the other carefully. Jhin seemed amused, definitely enjoying seeing him on edge like this. The smug smile on his face showed that much.

Zed was about to turn back and leave, but that one burning question was still racing through his mind. It had been keeping him up for days, perhaps even longer now. Before he even realised it, he had already blurted it out. "Why me?"

"Why you?" Jhin repeated, raising an eyebrow.

Zed exhaled, taking a moment to collect his thoughts. "...What is your obsession with me?"

Jhin laughed, looking away for just a moment before bringing his eyes back to Zed's own. "I should be asking _you_ this, Zed."

He took a step closer, leaving just a little bit of space between the two of them. His gaze was still on Zed, staring into his amber eyes intently. He reached out his hand to Zed's face now, brushing his fingertips against his skin.

"You're the one who brought me here. You could have just left me there and forgotten about me. Yet here we are."

"How could I forget after all the things you've done?" Zed snapped at him, feeling his muscles tense up. "You are a _monster._ "

Jhin chuckled again, now holding Zed's chin with his hand. "And still, you keep coming back to me."

Zed pulled away, pushing him back roughly. He was agitated now, adrenaline rushing through his veins. Before he really realised it, he lunged at the man who only barely dodged him.

"Fight back," he growled.

He didn't give Jhin much time to process what he had said before striking at him again, his fist colliding with the man's shoulder.

Jhin stumbled backwards, taking a moment to regain his balance. Zed once again charged at him, pushing him further back. Jhin groaned as his back hit the wall behind them, letting himself fall to the floor as Zed stepped back from him again.

"Get up," Zed commanded. Jhin looked back at him, somewhat dazed.

He slowly pulled himself up, seemingly waiting for Zed to act again. Zed complied, striking at him again fiercely. This time, his fist was blocked by the other man. 

Jhin lunged back at him now, forcing Zed to move backwards. He then plunged his own fist into his stomach. Zed fell back further, stumbling against the wall behind him with a groan.

He looked up at the man, who was once again waiting patiently for Zed to act. Jhin was fast, much faster than he had anticipated. But he was also injured.

He quickly got up, dashing towards Jhin again. He struck again, this time against the other's ribs. Jhin cried out, immediately stepping back, shielding his side with his arms. "Dirty..." he scoffed.

Zed didn't give him much time to react before shoving him further against the wall, pinning the man with his arm pushed dangerously close to his ribs. The chains near them on the wall rattled slightly from the impact, echoing a metallic noise through the room. Zed now looked back at his face as he was still breathing rapidly, his heart racing.

Jhin, in contrast, looked calm. Surprisingly so. As if this situation was nothing strange to him. Zed kept him there for a moment, trying to calm himself down as well. Jhin's deep red eyes stared into his own, a certain look within them that Zed couldn't really place. The gaze was overwhelming, in a way. It pierced through him, tearing Zed apart piece by piece. He looked away from him nearly instinctively. A terrible mistake.

He felt the man's fist hit his stomach again, taking him by surprise. Zed groaned, then coughed as he moved his hands to his stomach in reflex.

Before he knew it, Jhin had spun the both of them around, forcing Zed back against the wall now. He grabbed one of his wrists, quickly, pulling it up above his head.

Zed's eyes widened, trying in vain to pull his arm back as he heard that familiar _click_ locking it in place. It all happened far too quickly.

He rashly tried to reach for Jhin's neck with his free hand, but the man swiftly dodged him, grabbing hold of his other wrist as well, promptly restraining it with the second cuff.

"Let me go!" Zed called out, thrashing around desperately to free himself. Jhin stayed silent, simply watching him flail his body around in panic.

It was of no use, Zed knew this. There was no way he could unlock these restraints from inside them. He couldn't even phase out of them -- he knew the metal used could block any magic. He swallowed, that familiar nausea starting to crawl up his stomach again. If his arms weren't restrained now he would have hit himself for his stupidity. How could he just let Jhin do this to him?

He watched Jhin take a step towards him, closing the little bit of distance that was left between them. His lips curled up again, looking at Zed's distraught face. He brought his hand to his chin, pushing his thumb against the man's bottom lip. He left it there for just a moment before his hand moved down further, wrapping it around Zed's neck.

Zed's heart started racing again as he felt Jhin's fingers close around him, a slight pressure on his windpipe. Jhin pulled him forward roughly, the chains above Zed rattling as he did. He then moved around him, now standing more or less behind him. Jhin moved his other hand around his neck as well, keeping him in place. Zed couldn't see him anymore now but he could feel Jhin move his head closer to his ear.

"Do I frighten you, Zed?" Jhin purred, his voice barely above a whisper. It sent a shiver down Zed's spine. He felt the pressure on his throat increase, his heart now pounding in his chest. Jhin chuckled lowly, pleased with his reaction. "You're _terrified,_ aren't you?"

He tried desperately to pull away from him but he couldn't move, his hands restrained above him and Jhin holding him back with his own. His eyes darted around the room looking for something, _anything_ to help him out.

"That's why you keep coming back to me, isn't it?" Jhin continued, his hands slowly pressing down harder. "If you killed me, you wouldn't have to be afraid anymore. Ah, or is there something else you fear?" He paused for a moment, an eerie silence spreading through the room. It was deafening in a way, the only thing Zed could hear being his own heartbeat. Jhin then spoke again, squeezing his throat just slightly as he did. "Your brother, perhaps?"

Zed froze, the images of his nightmare from earlier coming back to him. How could he possibly know..?

"Seems I was right." Zed could practically _hear_ that pleased smile in his voice as he spoke. "You believe keeping me here will somehow ward him off." He chuckled again, pulling Zed in just a little bit closer against him. "But you and I both know that Shen is nothing like you. He isn't afraid."

Zed's breathing, as far as he _could_ breathe, was harsh and rapid now, trying desperately to get the air in his lungs. He kept trying to shake him off, to squirm out of his grip, but all it managed to do was waste his energy, wearing him out.

"So, which would be worse? Being killed by your brother, or being killed by _me_."

He felt the grip on his throat grow tighter, enough now to block his airflow completely. Zed shook his body violently, a faint whimper leaving his throat as he did. He felt light-headed. Cold sweat was forming on his forehead, tears starting to sprout in the corners of his eyes.

This was it. He was going to die here. Now. By Jhin's hand. _He was going to die._

His lungs were burning, screaming for air Zed couldn't give them. He tried everything he could to make Jhin let go of him -- shaking, kicking, but he could barely even move himself.

"Don't worry." He could just barely make out Jhin's voice over his own deafening heartbeat. "I won't kill you like this. I have other plans for you," he hummed softly into his ear. 

He felt the grip around his throat lighten, then disappear altogether. He was trembling, his heart still pounding in his ears. His legs could barely hold him up.

Jhin had let go of him, suddenly standing before him again. Zed watched with wide eyes as Jhin reached for his throat again, but this time only softly running his fingers over it. "Breathe."

It was as if he suddenly remembered how. The air rushed into his lungs, making him cough harshly. He kept on coughing as he tried to take a few deep breaths, a tear or two running down his cheeks.

Zed was a mess. Still trembling, still light-headed, but at least he could breathe again. He stared at the stone floor, refusing to look up at the man before him. He pulled his head away from Jhin's hand rashly, the fear he felt just a minute ago slowly making space for rage again.

How could he have been so stupid? So incredibly reckless? He could have been killed. He _would_ have been, if Jhin hadn't suddenly changed his mind.

"Why did you let go?" The question had left his mouth before he could really stop himself.

"You almost sound disappointed," Jhin chuckled back.

Zed glared at him, anger practically oozing from his face. He saw him stare back, looking elated.

He took a step towards Zed, who immediately started feeling that tension again. He hadn't calmed down entirely yet, and Jhin closing the distance between them once more definitely was not helping. "I already told you, I have other plans for you."

Jhin's hand moved to the back of his head, softly grabbing his white locks. He pulled down slightly, making Zed look up at his face again.

"What would be the beauty in simply strangling you here, leaving your untouched canvas for maybe one person to see?" he murmured, an eager look in his eyes now. "No, I have something much greater in mind for you."

"You're _sick,_ " Zed growled back.

He watched him move closer, barely any space left between them now. Jhin said nothing, simply watching Zed closely. Those red eyes pierced through him again, a heavy gaze that made him shiver. Zed felt his heart beating quickly again, shaky breaths leaving his mouth.

Then, out of nowhere, he felt the man's lips press against his own. He froze in shock as it happened, his heart pounding in his chest again. He didn't try to move, didn't try to kick him off. He simply stared at him, wide-eyed, as he felt Jhin bite his lip ever so slightly.

It wasn't long before Jhin let go again, stepping back from the distraught man. Zed stared back at him, dumbfounded.

"...I--" Zed tried to say something, although he wasn't really sure what. He couldn't find any words, his mind instead filled with hundreds of incohesive thoughts.

"Hm?" Jhin responded, his expression blank. He looked calm as ever, nonchalant. As if it didn't even faze him what just happened.

Zed looked away now, staring back at the floor. He wasn't sure if he even _could_ say something after that.

He felt himself shake his arms frantically again, almost as if they moved on their own. He couldn't manage to keep at it long, feeling exhausted from everything that had happened. He made a final pathetic attempt to free himself, before finally giving up, a weary sigh escaping him as he lowered his head.

"Giving up already?" Jhin called, breaking the silence with his low voice.

"Just let me go." His voice was weak, defeated. No energy left to even try to fight back now.

"Ah, but where would be the drama in that?" Jhin hummed, turning back to him as he continued. "Scream for help instead. Or wait here with me until someone finds you," he purred.

Zed gritted his teeth, exhaling as he considered his options. He really did not want to stay here any longer. He wouldn't have the energy to fight back if Jhin suddenly changed his mind about killing him.

"I have no intention of trying to escape. So go on, scream."

And he did, swallowing his last bit of pride. Someone had to be around to hear him, right? Lura, Yusari... Hell, he was certain even _Shen_ would come to rescue him if he heard him cry out. He always had.

An awful silence painted the room once he stopped. It was deafening.

It seemed as if time stood still for a while, nothing but Zed's own heartbeat breaking the eerie silence in the room. He sighed, softly. It was entirely possible no one was near them. It could take hours before someone would find Zed here, and he didn't think he would be able to call out for help that long.

He then felt something strange, a familiar coldness spreading through the room. Zed's face lit up. He could recognise this magic anywhere.

Just a second later, a figure moved through the wall, quickly shaping into a human form. Kayn.

He saw him quickly dash towards the other man with a roar, tackling him to the ground violently. Jhin grunted, now pinned underneath the young assassin with a hand on his throat.

Kayn immediately struck him, his fist hitting Jhin's face harshly. He was about to punch again when Zed called out to him. "Kayn stop! Just release me."

"But Master, he--"

" _Don't._ "

Kayn paused a moment, looking at Zed, then back at Jhin. He groaned in annoyance as he slowly let go of the man beneath him, lowering his fist. He stood up, quickly moving over to Zed.

He unlocked the cuffs from outside, finally freeing Zed's hands. Zed pulled them down immediately, rubbing his aching wrists. "Thank you," he spoke, softly.

"We should kill him," Kayn said, gritting his teeth, the anger clear in his voice.

"We will _not._ Let's go," Zed answered, moving towards the exit. 

He watched Kayn walk up to Jhin on the floor once more, spitting at him before he turned to leave. Jhin flinched, but ultimately didn't respond.

Zed sighed, leaving the room with Kayn afterwards, not looking back. He locked the door behind him before the two of them silently went up again.

"Are you alright?" Kayn asked once they were out of the dungeons, looking concerned.

"Yes, I'm fine. Thanks to you," Zed answered, relieved that he was finally out of there. Kayn nodded, looking relieved as well. "I didn't think you would be back yet."

Kayn's expression changed, looking more irritated now. "Why did you send me on a pointless mission?" he responded, clearly upset about this. "You already knew it was Shen, didn't you?"

Zed sighed, then nodded. He hadn't thought Kayn would realise this so quickly. "I thought it would help, but that was a mistake. I'm sorry."

"Hmph. So, he's coming?" Kayn responded.

"Yes, in four days. We will need to prepare for this."

Kayn nodded "How did you even get trapped like that?" he then asked, changing the subject slightly.

"I... was careless," he admitted, a scowl on his face. "I underestimated him, and it nearly led to my death."

Kayn sighed, looking troubled. He very clearly seemed worried about him. They were silent for a moment, neither of them really having anything to say. 

Kayn then shook his head before looking Zed in eyes, a determined expression on his face. "I want this task."

Zed knew what he meant. He wanted to look after Jhin as well. It wasn't about Jhin, though. No, it was about _him._ Kayn wanted to make sure Zed wouldn't end up in a similar situation again. He could tell that.

"Fine," Zed complied, Kayn's face lighting up. "Under one condition. You will _not_ harm him."

Kayn sighed, clearly annoyed. "What does it matter, he deserves it."

"Yes. He does," Zed agreed, "but there's no point for needless violence." And more importantly, he didn't want Kayn to fall into the same trap he had.

"...Fine."

"Let's start training," Zed spoke, moments later. Kayn nodded. He then yawned, stretching his arms before starting to walk ahead. "Kayn?"

"Yeah?" he said as he turned back around, facing Zed again. He looked at him with his usual confident smile on his face now, his amber eyes shining.

"Really, thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls leave a comment, I love reading them so much! ♡


	5. Chapter 5

Zed and Kayn had been training for a while now. It had been hours since they started, and it was quickly starting to get dark out.

They had trained and talked over their plans for the encounter with Shen. Ideally, Zed didn't want to have to fight him. But if it came to it, they would be ready. He didn't want to get the rest of his students involved, but Kayn already knew this much anyway. He could use his support.

Zed had been training tirelessly, all of it to keep his mind off what happened earlier that day. It had left him shaken, and he was sure it would mess with him for a while. It was evident that his pupil had noticed as well.

"Are you... really okay?" Kayn asked, looking at him. "You look terrible."

Zed sighed. He had taken a moment to calm down earlier, but he hardly had any time to waste with Shen's threat. "I'm fine. I can't afford to let things get the better of me now."

"I don't understand why you don't just kill him if it messed you up like this," Kayn pushed. "Or maybe we _should_ return him."

" _No._ " He took a step back, looking away. If he gave him up now, all of it would have been for nothing. "Khada Jhin is here so he can't be released again. Giving him up now would only bring us back to where we started."

"Well, whatever. I think it's a bad idea, but it's your call."

Zed turned back to him, Kayn watching him with that concerned expression. He knew he was just worried about him. He didn't blame him for it.

"Let's call it a day for now, get some rest."

Kayn simply nodded, sighing as he walked off.

Zed understood Kayn's view on this whole situation, but he just couldn't let all of this go now. Not when he went through all this just to keep Jhin locked up here.

He sighed as well, taking just another moment to look around him, feeling the cold air brush against his skin. Then, he left, making his way to his own bedroom.

It wasn't long before Zed fell into a somewhat restless slumber, the millions of thoughts running through his mind definitely doing a number on him.

He was in that carriage again. His arms were spread out, chained above him. The wooden walls were filled with magic wards, all placed around him erratically. He figured they were on the outside as well. They blocked his magic, leaving him no way to get out. He felt beaten up and bruised, exhausted.

"When we fought on the beach, you held back, Zed." His brother's voice. He was outside the carriage, speaking to him. "I was unconscious and drowning. You dragged me from the water. You always hid your strength, even as a kid."

"I was weak as a child." The words felt familiar in Zed's mouth, the tone resentful.

"You were quickly the strongest of us," Shen responded, his voice calm, almost dismissive. "Everything I became was just me trying to keep up with you."

Zed's eyes narrowed. Was he taunting him? Not once had he beaten him. Not once had he even come _close,_ yet he had always kept trying. He wasn't even really sure why anymore.

"I'd say the same about you, Shen."

A silence followed, quickly bringing tension in the air. He couldn't see Shen, but he could easily picture the quiet anger on his face he was likely trying to contain. A calm before the storm.

"You let yourself get captured by Jhin when we were young," Shen then spoke again, his voice low. "Now, you let _me_ capture you. Admit it."

Zed kept quiet. He couldn't deny it, even if he wanted to, but he wasn't ready to admit it either. Not even really to himself.

"If Jhin comes, I will offer you no protection."

Those words brought a shiver down Zed's spine. There was no way he would leave him here to be killed by him, was there? The plan would be to lure him in and capture him with the two of them, right?

His eyes then widened, a sudden realisation. The wards. Zed couldn't escape. He would leave him here to die. "I'm just the bait--"

"This is what you want, isn't it?" Shen cut him off, a strange emotion in his voice now.

"Let me out," Zed called out to him, trying to pull his arms free, to no avail. He heard the door creak, being opened from outside. Perhaps he was coming in to release him?

The door was opened, letting the far too bright sunlight flow into his eyes, making him shut them immediately.

He slowly peeked through as the man walked inside, letting his eyes adjust to the light. He was almost able to make out his features now.

Then, a shock spread through his body, leaving him frozen. It wasn't Shen who stood before him.

"So _vulnerable,_ " a familiar voice called out to him. It made the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

Zed couldn't speak as he watched Jhin approach him, simply staring at the man, wide-eyed.

He watched Jhin slowly reach for his face, tilting his chin up to make their eyes meet. A shaky breath left Zed's mouth as he felt a thumb brush over his lip, dark red eyes boring into him.

He kept his eyes on Jhin's as his face slowly moved closer to his own, close enough that Zed could swear he could feel the other's breath on his own skin.

Soon enough Jhin moved his thumb away, quickly replacing it with his own lips.

It was as if the atmosphere changed completely. That fear he felt just moments ago quickly faded as he felt himself getting lost in the kiss.

He closed his eyes, feeling Jhin push himself against him. A hand tangled in his hair, Jhin's body pressed against him, a leg slowly pushing up between his own...

When Zed opened his eyes again, everything felt hazy.

It was dark. Cold. His head was spinning, a shiver running down his spine as he felt the cold air bite into his skin.

He sat up. His covers were half thrown off the bed. A layer of sweat covered his skin, his breathing erratic. He stared ahead of himself for a moment, trying to process his thoughts.

What the _fuck_ was that?

What in the world did he just wake up from? Nightmares were nothing strange to him, but he had never quite experienced something like _that._

Trying to shake it off, he quickly got up from his bed, trying to calm himself down at least slightly. He made his way over to the bathroom, the space lit up by a single lantern.

He looked at himself in the mirror -- messy white hair sticking to his forehead, two tired amber eyes staring back at him. He had somewhat expected the colour to be drained from his face but the opposite was true, a red blush gently covering his skin. Zed lowered his head again, he was a mess.

He quickly splashed some water in his face, the cold touch feeling soothing against his skin. Then, he sighed, deeply.

What was he supposed to think of that? Did his mind figure out a new way to torment him? Were the memories of the Golden Demon's slaughter not enough?

He hated that he was reluctant to even think of his name. As if even so much as having it echo through his mind would be enough to break him.

God, he was pathetic.

He looked back up at the mirror, once again making eye contact with his reflection.

It was just a nightmare.

Was it really a nightmare? Could he even call it that? Even now he could still feel his lips pressed against his own--

Zed shook his head, rather violently. Don't want to think about that.

He sighed again, then turned around and left the bathroom. Back to bed. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to get much sleep after this, but he had to try to at least get some rest. He didn't really want to think about what would happen if he had to face Shen while in this state. Nothing good, that much was certain.

Their inevitable encounter was only a few days away, and Zed wanted to make sure he could rest his body and his mind. Though with everything that had happened lately, that second part might very well be impossible.

The following days went by rather quietly, with Zed spending most of the day training with Kayn, then getting some early sleep at night. The nights were kind to him, surprisingly so, with no new nightmares or strange dreams haunting him now.

Perhaps it was a strange instance of cosmic balance, since however much he tried, he couldn't seem to keep his mind off of _him_ during the day. The fear, the rage, the anxiety he had made him feel. His hands around his neck, his fist hitting his stomach... His lips pressed against his own.

He couldn't seem to shake it off. Trying to fill his head with plans for his encounter with Shen instead only caused him to feel nauseous from worrying.

Kayn must have noticed. Hell, anyone with eyes must have noticed how on edge he was. He didn't want his students to worry about him, and he _definitely_ didn't want them to get involved. It was only a day away now, and the last thing he wanted was a bloodbath between his students and Shen's. If any blood were to be shed, it would be his own.

The last night was, like the previous ones, calm. Quiet. Zed hadn't expected to sleep so soundly that night, but he wasn't about to be ungrateful for it. It could very well be his last.

He ate in silence that morning, accompanied by a few familiar faces. Kayn was seated next to him, Yusari peacefully facing them from across the table. Two other acolytes sat a bit further away, enjoying some small conversation. Normally Kayn would be one to lighten the mood, but he was likely elsewhere with his thoughts. Shen.

Once they were finished, the two of them made their way a bit outside the monastery, waiting patiently for their guests to arrive. It was cold, cloudy. The wind rushed past them harshly, howling as it made its way through the leafless trees.

"Do you think he'll show?" Kayn asked, moving some strands of hair away from his face, scythe neatly covered on his exposed back. How he could walk around like _that_ in this cold without as much as shivering had always been a mystery to him.

Zed nodded. "He will."

"Will we be outnumbered?"

"It's very likely," he spoke as he looked at him, two eager amber eyes looking back, a confident smile on his face. They both knew of his power with that particular weapon. They also both knew how much of a danger it posed to Kayn. How it _changed_ him, how it ate away at him. "Don't take it out until I tell you to."

Kayn couldn't resist rolling his eyes. "Understood."

A silence followed, the two men watching carefully for anyone to approach them. The wind tugged at their hair violently as they waited.

It didn't take long until Zed could feel something familiar in the air. A certain presence he had grown so wary of over the years. _He's here._

As if on cue, a figure appeared on the path through the trees just a few seconds later. As the figure moved closer, it started to take the shape of a person. Two, in fact. They walked side by side, slowly approaching them.

Zed's eyes met his brother's. No emotion in them, no anger in his expression. Nothing.

A young woman walked beside him, the same kind of confidence in her movements he recognised so well from his own pupil. Akali.

She was the first to speak once they stopped walking, her eyes glancing over Kayn.

"You're gonna catch a cold, pretty boy."

"Are you worried about me?" Kayn said, a coy smile on his face. Zed shot him a glance.

None of them spoke for what seemed like an eternity. Tension had slowly started filling the air around them, a certain sense of hostility lingering in it. Zed hadn't taken his eyes off of Shen again, and he had done the same.

"I was already afraid you wouldn't comply," Shen finally spoke, breaking the heavy silence that had fallen between them all.

"You expected it," Zed retorted.

"I will give you one final chance to return Jhin." His voice was low, almost threatening. It was clear that he truly meant that this was his last chance. But Zed had already made up his mind long ago.

"Forget it."

He saw him close his eyes for a moment, his expression changing for just a second. "A pity, but not unexpected, given your _fixation_ on him."

"What are you implying?" Zed answered, gritting his teeth.

"Everything you've done, ever since we first captured Khada Jhin, it has always come back to him. Even after he was locked away, you just couldn't forget."

Zed stared at him, shocked. "How _could_ I? Have you not seen what he's done? The kind of slaughter he is capable of?!"

"We saw the same things, Zed, you just never let it go," he spoke, dismissively.

"That _monster_ can't be left alone!"

"A _man,_ Usan! We do not get to play executioner." His old name, how he had come to loathe the sound of it. Especially coming from Shen.

Zed glared at him now, feeling himself tense up as he took a step towards him. Shen looked back at him, still seeming calm, but Zed could tell he was slowly losing his composure.

"Another step and I'll cut your head clean off, _Wyrm_ " Akali called as he moved, immediately readying her stance to strike.

"I'd like to see you try," Kayn scoffed, stepping forward as well. He stood next to Zed, reaching for his weapon.

"Stop," Zed called, calmly resting his hand on Kayn's shoulder for a moment. He saw him glare at the other two, clearly itching for a fight.

"Akali, stand down," Shen called out. He put his arm in front of the assassin, signalling her to stay put. "This is between _us._ "

"Tch, whatever, old man."

Shen ignored it, bringing his gaze back to Zed, ice cold. That anger he knew so well was slowly cracking through his calm and emotionless front.

" _You_ released him."

Zed scoffed, looking away. "Ridiculous, _that's_ what you believe?"

"You haven't given me a reason not to," he growled back. "There were only four people who even knew of his location. You released him so you could have an excuse to kill him."

Zed looked back at him, meeting his cold glare again. "You _want_ me to be responsible for it, but that isn't what happened!"

"Then _who,_ Usan? When we captured Jhin he said you already knew the truth. Or do you mean to imply father or Yevnai had something to do with it?"

"Kusho was not the saint you believe he was," Zed scoffed.

"Do not speak his name!" Shen spat out, taking a step forward -- a threat.

A brief silence fell, deafening. Suffocating. Zed wanted nothing more than to tell him the truth, but he knew it would only make things worse if he was the one to say it.

"Who was it?" Shen growled again, his patience growing thinner by the second.

Zed didn't answer. He _couldn't_ answer. Shen had to find this out for himself. It's not like he would believe him anyway.

The distance between the two of them wasn't very big now. If either would strike, the other would be on the ground within the blink of an eye. A fight between the four of them would be awfully close, Zed thought. They were likely evenly matched in skill, and if it had to come to it, Kayn had his Darkin blade to swing things around.

There was one problem, though -- they weren't alone. Zed had felt the presence of many other fighters minutes ago. They had likely surrounded them, either ready to strike or to go up to the monastery.

"Tell your students to leave mine alone. As you said, this is between us," Zed spoke after a moment, looking Shen in the eyes again. He saw his expression change just slightly for a moment.

"Hand Jhin over and I will tell them to stand down. This is your chance to leave it all behind." For just a second, he seemed concerned. Worried, almost.

"You've heard my answer. Either leave or fight me," Zed called out, his own patience quickly running out as well.

Shen sighed, that strange expression still on his face. "This is why we were driven apart, Zed. Your _obsession_ with him. You just can't stay away from it, you can't put it past you. You _let_ him tear you apart this way."

 _And still, you keep coming back to me._ The words Jhin spoke to him four days ago shot through his mind again, filling his head with his voice, that sadistic look in his eyes, the hands around his neck... It nearly made him dizzy.

"I cannot let you decide justice." Shen then called out.

"Then draw your blade," Zed growled back. He felt that awful feeling of dread crawl up to his stomach as he spoke, his heart beating rapidly.

And Shen did, slowly reaching for the blade on his back, readying his stance to strike. Zed did the same as he shot out the blades on his gauntlets. A silence fell. Their eyes were focussed on each other's, a hostile glare being shared between the two of them.

The air between them was heavy, nearly suffocating. He didn't really know why he pushed Shen like this. He didn't want to fight him at all. Not now, or ever.

It felt like time stood still, both men standing just a few spans apart, staring each other down. The cold, harsh wind tugged at their clothes, biting into their skin. If it wasn't for the adrenaline rushing through his veins, Zed would have been shivering in the cold by now.

Then, what felt like an eternity later, Shen closed his eyes, slowly moving his blade away again.

"We will leave you alone," he spoke, his voice as calm as it could be again.

"What?" Akali called out.

" _However_ , if I find out you killed Khada Jhin, I will come for you, and you _will_ die."

Akali looked at Shen, dumbfounded. "With all due respect, are you insane? You're just gonna let him have this?" She sounded about as shocked as Zed was, hearing this.

"We have other matters to focus on. Let it tear him apart if he wants it, it's what he deserves." Shen shot a glare at Zed. "Do we have an agreement?"

"Fine, I accept."

A brief silence fell again, lighter this time. The tension was still there, but it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

Shen shot one last glance at him, looking at him with somewhat of a mix between hatred and pity. He then turned around, calling out to his students hidden around them. "Kinkou, move out!"

Then, he walked away.

Akali stared at them for a moment longer, her gaze anything but friendly. "Better watch your back, your little deal means nothing to me," she spat out before turning around as well, quickly following her master.

Once they were gone, Kayn turned to him. "Well, I didn't expect that to happen."

"Neither did I," Zed answered. It was for the best, really. He didn't want to fight him if he could avoid it. Perhaps it was the same for Shen.

He shook his head. Never mind that. "Let's get back."

Kayn nodded, seeming slightly disappointed he didn't get any action. Zed, though, was relieved. He still felt tense, nervous almost, but at least this was one less thing he had to worry about. At least for now.

 _Let it tear him apart if he wants it._ The words spun through his head. Somehow, Shen had been able to tell just how badly Jhin had messed with his head. Yet, he felt drawn to him, as if something kept pulling at him to go back. Almost like a siren's call.

It was all he could think about on their way back to the monastery. That nauseating pressure increased with every step he took, until he couldn't ignore it anymore. It was venom.

He parted ways with Kayn, leaving him behind as he nearly instinctively made his way to the dungeons. He wasn't sure why he even came here, or what he would do once he saw him, but something inside him just took over. It was almost as if he had no control over himself anymore.

He noticed his hands shaking as he moved the keys to the door, his heart racing already. Last time he was down here, he nearly got himself killed. Why was he so eager to come back?

He swallowed, taking a deep breath as he unlocked the door, opening it slowly.

He took a single step forward as he peered inside, his gaze immediately drawn to the crimson eyes looking back into his own. He simply stood there, staring at him from the other side of the room. It felt like lightning struck him when their gazes met, an overwhelming pressure immediately crushing him. And just like that, he had lured him in.

Before he could even stop himself, Zed found himself moving towards the man, quicker than he could even really process. He felt that fury starting to build up in him again as he stopped in front of Jhin, his mind screaming at him to strike him, kill him. Get away from him.

They were only a few palms apart, a crushing silence between them as Zed stared at him fiercely. Jhin stared back at him with that awful smug smile on his face, making his skin crawl.

He reached for the collar of Jhin's shirt, pulling him in closer. Jhin let him, not making an effort to pull away. Zed stared at him, scowling. His heart was racing, unsteady breaths leaving him as he kept peering into his eyes.

Then, before he even realised what he was doing, he moved his head closer. It was as if someone else controlled his body.

Jhin didn't move, didn't stop him. He just watched him, waiting carefully for him to make his move.

Zed didn't stop himself either. He _couldn't_. He felt whatever that feeling inside him was take over, closing his eyes as he fervently pressed his lips against Jhin's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for following it so far, lemme know if you're enjoying it 😊💕


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's everyone's birthday today and this is my present ;)

When Zed pulled away and opened his eyes again, he was met with a somewhat surprised look. Red eyes peered into his own, Jhin's eyebrows raised ever so slightly.

Heat started rushing to his face as it slowly dawned on Zed what he had just done. His heart was still beating fast, but it felt as if that crushing pressure from just moments ago had left his body completely.

Jhin simply stared back at him, his eyes trained on Zed's soft lips that had kissed him just moments ago. A realisation hit Zed that this was the first time he had ever really seen him caught off guard like that.

The surprise in his face didn't last though, the expression quickly replaced by his usual intense gaze and slight smirk. It did something to Zed, something he couldn't easily hold back now.

He pushed Jhin backwards lightly, until his back was pressed up against the wall. He had already gone this far, there was nothing really left inside him that wanted him to stop.

He reached for his collar again, pulling him close once more as he went in for another kiss, rougher this time. He felt Jhin go along in it, a faint noise leaving him as Zed pressed down on his bruised ribs lightly -- the first sound he had really made since Zed had gotten here. It sent a small shockwave through his body, urging him press down harder.

He felt Jhin move his hand to the back of his head now, gripping his hair slightly as he pulled him away, just enough to look into his eyes again. Zed looked back, the ghost of Jhin's lips still lingering on his own. He wanted to move back to kiss him again, but Jhin stopped him, pressing a finger against his lips.

"Quite eager, are we," Jhin hummed, amused. Zed exhaled, looking away as a slight blush made its way up to his cheeks. What the hell was he doing?

He felt Jhin pull his chin up, forcing him to look back at him. He was _so_ close again, his mouth just barely apart from Zed's own.

"Do you really want this, Zed?" His voice held something darker now, a certain hunger that was quickly breaking through.

Not even his mind was telling him no anymore. He didn't know what it was inside him that wanted him to be _this_ close to Jhin, but he knew it wasn't going to just let him walk away now.

He nodded, faintly. A minuscule movement, as if he was afraid to admit it.

A small chuckle came from the other man as he brushed his hand against Zed's cheek. "Use your words."

Shockwaves spread through his body at Jhin's touch, making him shiver. "Yes..." he managed to mutter, his voice much weaker than he would have liked.

It was all Jhin needed to hear before crashing his lips against Zed's own again, catching him by surprise just slightly. He felt Jhin's hand on his back, pulling him in closer against him, his other hand still tangled in his hair.

Zed's eyes fell shut again, quickly losing himself in it all. A sudden tug at his hair made him yelp in reflex, allowing Jhin to deepen the kiss, pushing his tongue inside eagerly.

It was as if he melted away in it, any restraint he still had left dissolving as Jhin kissed him roughly. He felt a tug at his scarf before it dropped to the floor, leaving his neck exposed.

Zed's hands nearly instinctively made their way up Jhin's shirt, travelling lightly over the sore bruises and covered-up wounds that still painted his skin, pressing down on them ever so slightly. It only seemed to encourage Jhin, pulling Zed against him deeper as he hummed at every touch.

It was Jhin who first broke the kiss, moving his lips away from Zed's own, now pressing them against his neck. Zed shivered at the touch, the pressure on his neck eerily similar to what he had felt just a few days ago.

"So, you've found my weakness," Jhin purred before kissing his neck again, biting down slightly, just enough to make him flinch.

Pain. He liked pain, both inflicting and receiving, it seemed. Zed looked away, a faint blush spreading to his face again. It wasn't at all uncharacteristic of him, but actually seeing the effects of it left him strangely intrigued.

A sudden push brought him out of his mind. He felt himself being moved backwards, Jhin's hands now holding his shoulders, shoving him. Zed went along with it, slowly walking backwards, until his legs met resistance. Before he could really process it, he stumbled over it, landing with his back on something soft -- Jhin's bed.

Jhin stood over him, looking down on the white-haired man lying before him. They locked eyes for just a moment before Jhin moved down on top of him, somewhat pinning him down on the mattress.

He wasted no time in pulling at the fabric that covered Zed's upper body, taking off the few layers of clothes he was wearing. They were promptly tossed aside after, leaving Zed's upper body exposed to him.

A shiver ran through Zed again as Jhin's fingers traced gently over the ichor tattoos that covered his skin, leaving behind a trail of goose bumps. His hands were cold, enough to make him shudder at his touch, but the feeling wasn't at all unpleasant.

" _Gorgeous,_ " Jhin whispered as he gently pushed his nails into Zed's skin, leaving fine scratches behind as he grazed them down. "You're a sculpture just waiting to be carved."

Zed's eyes narrowed, looking up at the man with a sudden scowl on his face. He grabbed Jhin's wrist tightly, stopping him from drawing marks on his skin. "You _won't,_ " he growled back.

Jhin laughed, softly. "Oh, I _will_ make you beautiful, Zed." The way he spoke his name brought a chill down his spine. Those deep red eyes stared into his own, holding something much darker now. "But for now, I believe you simply want me to ruin you."

A gasp escaped him as he felt Jhin's hand trail up the inside of his thigh, pressing up against the growing hardness in his trousers. The grip Zed had held tight on his other wrist weakened, allowing Jhin to roam over his chest again.

It was as if any resistances melted away instantaneously with Jhin's touch, making him squirm under him. The way he could make Zed feel and act exactly how he wanted him to -- he was a puppet in Jhin's hands, and Zed willingly let him pull his strings.

He wanted more. To see more, to _feel_ more. His hands made their way to Jhin's shirt, tugging at it impatiently. Jhin glanced down at him, his lips curling up as he watched Zed slowly lose all restraint. He let him pull his shirt off, revealing his bruised upper body to Zed once again.

Jhin slowly moved down, his body pressed against Zed's as he leaned in to kiss him again. A faint noise left Zed's throat as he felt one of Jhin's legs move up between his own. He moved his hand to the back of Jhin's head, undoing the makeshift tie that held his hair back. Dark locks fell beside him, Zed's hand tangled in them. He then pulled him in further, losing himself in the feeling of the weight and warmth of Jhin's body on top of his own.

It wasn't long before Jhin broke the kiss again, slowly moving his head down to his neck. Zed winced as he felt the man sink his teeth into his skin again, harder this time. A low chuckle came from Jhin, moving down slightly to repeat the process down to his collarbone. Zed was certain it was going to leave some marks for the next few days, but he didn't care anymore. He wanted _more._

He felt his hips move up almost involuntarily, trying to feel any kind of friction against the man on top of him.

"So impatient," Jhin hummed, locking eyes with Zed again as he slowly moved up. Zed could just barely hold back a whine as he felt the weight of Jhin's body on top of his own disappear.

Jhin's hand now slowly trailed down from his chest to his abdomen, then down to the waist of his trousers. Zed sucked in a breath as he watched him undo the belt around them, then slowly pulling them off. A blush quickly spread to his face, nothing left to hide how hard he was now.

He couldn't hold back a moan this time as Jhin moved his hand to his crotch, slowly stroking him through the fabric of his briefs. It took every bit of his willpower to not start grinding himself against against Jhin's hand.

As sudden as he had started it, Jhin moved his hand away again, drawing a faint whine from Zed he couldn't hold back. Jhin simply looked back at him, watching his flustered face change expressions as he hooked his fingers under his briefs, slowly pulling them down. Zed looked away from him in reflex, suddenly feeling extremely exposed. _Vulnerable._

Jhin seemed to pay it no mind, instead taking the moment to position himself between Zed's legs. He leaned in to place more kisses and bites on the inside of his thighs, slowly moving up. He smiled against his skin, revelling in the soft whimpers that came from Zed.

His heart must have nearly jumped out of his chest when he felt Jhin's lips gently press against the base of his cock. He slowly moved up, pressing more kisses against him before running his tongue over the tip.

" _More..._ " The word slipped through before he could stop himself. Not that he really cared anymore at this point. Zed's voice was soft but desperate, and that, among the other sweet sounds he couldn't hold back anymore, was like music to Jhin's ears.

He hummed again, giving him what he wanted as he slowly took him in his mouth. Another moan escaped Zed as he felt Jhin take him in deeper, digging his nails into his hips.

Zed's hand found its way to Jhin's head again, hooking his fingers into his dark hair. It was the last thing that gave him any illusion of control, but in reality, he had given that all away the moment he had entered the room.

The feeling of Jhin's hot mouth around him, and how painfully slow he was giving it to him nearly made him dizzy. He watched as Jhin moved up and down his length slowly, biting his lip as his other hand tightly gripped the mattress below him. Any attempt he made to thrust up into Jhin's throat was met with a firm push against his hips, keeping him in place.

Minutes felt like hours as Jhin kept on teasing him like that, until he eventually pulled up again, drawing a needy whine from Zed. "Fuck, why?" he breathed out, looking back up at Jhin, a hint of frustration on his face.

He smiled back, a pleased look in his red eyes. "You didn't just come down here to get me to suck you off, did you?"

Zed looked away again, feeling slightly embarrassed at his sudden remark. In truth, he wasn't really sure why he had come here at all. But one thing was certain, he definitely didn't want it to stop now.

"Am I wrong?" Jhin prodded, leaning in to grab his chin again, bringing his gaze back to his own.

"N-no," Zed stammered, heat rushing to his face as their eyes met. Jhin smirked back, bringing two of his fingers up to Zed's lips.

Jhin looked at him for a moment, seemingly waiting for something. Zed blinked, unsure what to do with the gesture until Jhin chuckled softly, forcing his mouth open with his other hand to push the digits inside. "Suck," he then directed him.

Oh. _Oh._

A wave of embarrassment flushed his face red as he realised why Jhin had him do this. He went along with it, Jhin's gaze never leaving his own as he sucked on his fingers, coating them with a layer of saliva.

Seeming satisfied, Jhin took them out again, bringing his hand down between Zed's legs, prodding his now slick fingers against his hole. Zed flinched at the sudden intrusion, a gasp leaving him as Jhin pushed them inside.

He chuckled again, watching his reaction closely. "You've never done this before, have you," he said, more as a statement than a question.

Zed bit his lip again, looking away as his heart started racing. A blush spread to his face, he hated how painfully obvious it was. He had been with a handful of women and even some men before, but he had always been the one in control. Perhaps that, in its own messed up way, was why he felt so drawn to Jhin.

He tried to take his mind off it, trying to think of anything else, when a jolt of pleasure shot through his body as he felt Jhin move his fingers inside of him. A needy moan almost immediately escaped him, his eyes falling shut as he felt Jhin push in deeper.

When Jhin eventually pulled them out again, Zed felt a kind of empty he had never quite felt before. The look he gave Jhin was a desperate one, lust clouding his amber eyes. He needed more from him so badly.

Jhin looked back at him, a similar hunger in his own eyes. He started undoing his own trousers now, quickly pulling them off along with his underwear, freeing his own erection.

Zed watched him as he slowly stroked himself before him, coating his own cock with a mix of precum and saliva. A low moan came from Jhin when their gazes met again.

He didn't wait long to place himself between Zed's legs again, moving over him as pushed himself against his hole. He gave Zed just a moment to prepare before he slowly started pushing himself inside, another moan leaving him as he did. Zed's eyes were shut again, a strained noise escaping him as Jhin filled him up.

He gave him a moment to adjust to him, gently running a hand through his white hair. Then, he started moving. Zed's hands quickly found their way to the man's shoulders, digging his nails into him as he held on, Jhin breathing out another moan at the feeling of it.

Zed's own sounds soon filled the room too, as the painful feeling inside him quickly turned to a kind of pleasure he had never felt before. He rapidly lost himself in it as he felt Jhin speed up, instinctively moving his own hips along with the other's thrusts.

Hazy eyes looked up at the man above him, his expression alone enough to make Jhin shiver. "God, Zed," he breathed out, "do you have any idea how gorgeous you look like this?"

If it were possible, his cheeks would have flushed even darker red upon hearing that. Instead, he let out another moan as he felt Jhin hit a particularly good spot inside of him. It sent a shockwave of pleasure through him, making him twitch involuntarily.

Zed kept squirming under him as Jhin hit that spot inside him again and again, nearly making him feel dizzy with pleasure. He felt that feeling build up rapidly, until eventually it all collided as he reached his orgasm with a deep moan, spilling on his stomach.

The look on Zed's face alone, combined with the sweet noises he made as Jhin fucked him through his orgasm were enough to push him over the edge as well, finishing inside of him.

Zed felt Jhin slowly lower himself on top of him completely, feeling his full weight on him again as both of them took a moment to catch their breath. Jhin then slowly moved himself, pulling out of Zed before lying on his side next to him.

They lied there like that in silence for minutes, perhaps even hours. Zed's mind was blank -- no thoughts, no emotions. He simply lied there in serene bliss as he felt Jhin softly stroke his hair.

He wanted to stay here for hours, relishing the first moment of peace his mind had given him in months. There was no fear, no anger, no anxiety. Just pure nothingness.

Unfortunately the moment lasted way shorter than he would have wanted, as Jhin eventually broke the silence again. "You should go," he spoke, softly, "unless you want someone to find you like this."

Zed exhaled. Taunt or not, he was right. He couldn't let himself be seen here like this, however tempting it was to stay.

He slowly and begrudgingly got up, gathering back his scattered pieces of clothing before putting them on again.

He gave the man one last glance, an expression on his face he couldn't quite make out now.

Then, he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you all for reading! Let me know what you think ♡
> 
> I've also made a twitter page where I'll occasionally post updates or ask for requests, if anyone would be interested in that! It's currently quite empty but I'll be sure to make a couple posts soon 💕
> 
> You can find me here: https://twitter.com/Amsterdam_Bserk


	7. Chapter 7

Zed turned as he quickly dodged Kayn's fist, retaliating with a strike of his own. Kayn didn't let himself get hit that easily, though. He dashed away, swiftly avoiding him.

They had been training for a while now, the workout serving as a good distraction from everything that had been going on in Zed's head lately.

He had been trying to avoid thinking about what had happened in the dungeons a few days ago. It was, of course, to no avail. There wasn't a minute of the day that Zed didn't think about _him_. About what he had let him do to him.

He struck at Kayn again, skilfully extending his range by using the shadow magic he had grown so accustomed to over the years. Kayn naturally was no stranger to his techniques. He immediately saw what Zed was going to do, reacting to it as if it was second nature.

Their bodies nearly collided, Zed just barely dodging his pupil's counterattack. He managed to swiftly strike at him again in that moment, forcing Kayn to the ground.

He looked back at him with that same grin as always, eager for more. Zed instead walked up to him, reaching his hand out to help him up. "Let's take a break."

"Fine," Kayn said, taking a moment to catch his breath. "I think we're even right now anyway." Ever the competitive one.

He ignored it, taking a look around himself instead. It had been oddly peaceful the last couple of days. It felt strange for it to be so quiet around the place. Especially after his encounter with Shen just a few days ago. He had promised he would leave Zed alone, but it still felt like something was brewing.

"What's that?" Kayn asked, suddenly snapping him out of his thoughts. He took a step closer, looking curiously at Zed's neck. A shock went through him as the realisation hit.

God, his scarf. He had lost his scarf somewhere while training.

A grin sprouted on Kayn's face again. "Got a lover in town?" he asked with a chuckle, "or is it someone in the order..."

"It's none of your concern," Zed responded, quickly grabbing his scarf from the ground again. Well, no point in hiding it now.

"Alright, keep your secrets," he chuckled again, earning him a warning glance from Zed.

He wanted to curse himself for letting that show. If anyone did find out how he actually got those marks... It would be best for everyone if he'd hide it. He looked up for a moment, spotting a something small falling from the sky. A snowflake.

It slowly made its way down, the first of many to come. It spun around in the air as it reached for the ground, before finally landing in front of Zed's feet.

"Huh," Kayn said as he looked up, another snowflake neatly settling in his black hair. "I guess it's getting colder."

It signalled the start of the winter months, the ground soon to be covered with a blanket of white. Zed shivered as a cool breeze grazed his skin, it would only get colder from here.

He figured it would be even colder down in the dungeons. It hadn't really crossed his mind before, but Jhin was down there with just a shirt and trousers to cover his skin. The last thing Zed needed now was for him to freeze to death. Something warmer to wear would be necessary.

"I'm done for now," he spoke, quickly after that parting ways with Kayn who stayed to train on his own.

A woollen top would be just fine, he figured. The order had plenty of spare clothes for those who might need them, as many came to join the Yanléi with little more than a blade to their name. They had nothing to return to, this was their only home.

There hadn't been a single moment where Zed wasn't doubting his decision to bring the Golden Demon here, right to their base. It was to protect everyone, to protect _himself_ from any outside forces, but was he doing the right thing? Had he not simply brought a monster to their home?

You _want_ him here.

A nagging thought at the back of his mind, one he lately couldn't seem to drown out anymore. He had been avoiding going down there the last couple of days, he didn't even really need to go now. He could simply ask anyone else to do this, yet here he was, almost hurrying to get to the dungeons.

The set of stairs downwards seemed longer than ever, every step he took echoing through the room. He had to keep himself from rushing down, trying to keep his heartbeat calm and his breathing steady as he somewhat nervously made his way towards that room.

He could already feel his heart pounding in his chest when he finally reached that door. He had no doubt that Jhin would notice. He should just go back, leave, get someone else to do it.

He sighed, softly, then brought his keys to the door. Whatever it was in him that made him feel like this, it wouldn't let him walk away anymore.

The door opened, and Zed's gaze immediately fell on the familiar figure sitting on the bed. _That_ bed. The one he had lied on himself only a few days ago.

There was something that caught his eye immediately. The long, dark locks that previously reached below his jaw were shorter now, somewhat shorter than Zed's own. Crimson eyes met his own, catching him staring. The smile on his face almost seemed warm, inviting.

"Your hair," Zed spoke as he walked forward, any reluctance he had before now long gone.

He smiled back, running a hand through his now shorter locks. "Your friend, Lura, was it? She offered to cut it for me."

Zed felt his eyes narrow ever so slightly. The thought of her being so close to Jhin with a blade in her hand made him feel somewhat on edge.

"I see," he muttered, trying to brush the feeling off. Although Lura had put herself in a needlessly dangerous situation, she had, admittedly, done a decent job. The trim made him look a lot more tidy, nothing like the unkempt man he had seen just a few days ago. However much he hated to admit it, Jhin looked _good._

Neither of them spoke for a moment, a certain kind of tension quickly filling the air. Zed's heart hadn't stopped racing since he had entered the room, and he was certain Jhin could tell how nervous he was, simply being here again. His eyes were trained on Zed's own, watching him closely.

Zed tossed the piece of clothing he brought at him, quickly looking away from his intense gaze. "It will get colder," he said.

"Ah, of course. Thank you," he simply said back.

Another silence fell, heavy. This was the moment where Zed should turn around and leave, but something was stopping him. He had no reason to stay, he didn't even really know if he wanted to, but he simply couldn't get himself to move.

Seconds ticked by. Perhaps even minutes. He wasn't sure how long he had been standing there, but it was definitely long enough for Jhin to have noticed his hesitancy to leave.

"Come sit for a moment," he then spoke, catching Zed off guard slightly. He blinked, staring at the man for a few seconds, but then he reluctantly made his way over to him.

Zed slowly sat down next to him, his body still tense. He stared ahead at the wall, refusing to look at Jhin.

He shuddered when he suddenly felt a hand touch his hair, softly running through it. His eyelids almost instinctively dropped, his body relaxing at the touch.

They said nothing. There was no need to. It was as if everything around him disappeared as Jhin softly stroked his hair, leaving nothing but a peaceful silence between them.

It was calming, soothing. It had been so long since he found himself able to relax like that. So long since he had been touched like that. He almost lost himself in it.

Until he remembered where he was.

His eyes shot open. _Too close._ He was _far_ too close.

A sense of panic spread through his body, his mind screaming at him to get away from Jhin.

Before he could even register it, he found himself lunge towards the other man, forcing him on his back, Zed's hands gripping tightly around his throat.

He was trembling, his heart pounding in his chest. The sound was deafening. 

And all Jhin did was _smile._

He didn't fight back, didn't even try to get him off. He simply stared into Zed's amber eyes, as if he was taunting him.

"Are you going to kill me, Zed?"

A shaky breath left Zed's throat at those words, a strange shiver running through him.

It was as if time stood still. Neither of the two broke eye contact, neither made a move.

It wasn't until his body calmed down again that he lessened his grip, and then eventually, let go entirely. No, he wasn't going to kill him.

The two shared another look, something darker present in Jhin's eyes now. He slowly brought himself up again, saying nothing as he brushed a finger against Zed's lip.

Barely a second later, Zed felt himself being pushed down, his back now pressed against the mattress. A blush spread to his face as Jhin pinned his wrists above him, placing himself on top of him.

"You enjoy my company too much, is that it?" Jhin hummed, moving both of Zed's wrists to one hand now. If he wanted to, he could easily break free, but something inside him held him back. "All the things you just let me do to you," he continued, pulling Zed's shirt up slightly with his free hand.

Zed shivered as he felt his cold fingers trace over his skin again, a deep red blush painting his cheeks as Jhin's hand roamed up under his shirt.

He could feel his body reacting to his touch, already twitching at every movement Jhin's fingers made on his skin. A gasp escaped him as he felt a soft pinch at one of his nipples, his reaction earning him a satisfied chuckle.

Jhin then let go to lean in closer, moving his hand to Zed's neck now, pressing his fingers against the marks he had made on his skin last time. "I do so enjoy toying with you," he whispered closely to Zed's ear, drawing a shaky breath from him in return.

He closed his eyes, almost feeling himself melt away in it all, when the sudden distant sound of rattling keys pulled him out of it again. He immediately shot up, pushing Jhin off him as he nearly stumbled off the bed.

"I brought some personal favourites," a bubbly voice called as the door opened, a familiar blonde walking in. Zed stared at her, wide-eyed. Like a teenager that had just been caught with their sweetheart.

There, in the doorway, stood Lura. Her usual cheerful smile on her face, carrying a couple of books in her arms. A look of surprise painted her face when her eyes met Zed's, a slightly embarrassed blush creeping up her cheeks. "Oh! Master Zed, I didn't know you were here!"

"I was just leaving," he replied, suddenly feeling ridiculously claustrophobic in this room.

As he walked towards the door, Lura seemed to catch him looking at the books she had brought with her. "O-oh, I thought it would be okay to give him these, since I thought it gets pretty boring here..." she trailed off, looking away.

"It's fine, don't worry," Zed assured her. He really couldn't care less about that. He didn't bother confronting her about the haircut either. All he wanted right now was to leave.

He didn't look back as he left the room, instead hurrying upstairs two steps a time. It wasn't until he left that area entirely that he felt like he could breathe again. He sighed, placing himself against the wall to calm down for a moment.

Had he been a second later, he would have been caught. He didn't know _what_ he would do if someone had seen him like that. Just the thought alone made him nauseous with worry.

Jhin _knew_ she was coming. Of course he knew. He didn't care what would happen if someone caught them like that, he just wanted to mess with him. And what better way to do that than to embarrass him in front of his acolytes?

Zed groaned, frustrated. It was his own fault for even going back there. For letting Jhin do those things to him. It was horrible, just straight up _wrong,_ but he simply couldn't stop himself from thinking about it. Couldn't stop himself from wanting more.

He sighed again, then got up, walking away. He had to clear his mind somehow, just really tire himself out. Perhaps Kayn was still training, and otherwise he could surely find someone else to spar with.

He just wanted to stop thinking, if even just for a little while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates could roll out a little slower than before, as you might have noticed already 👀 I promise you I'm still working on this though 😊
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and let me know what you think! ♡


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